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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

WORD HURTS

Dont they think before they speak ? Is it gonna to hurt anybody ? Is it goin to make somebodys feeling down ..

Well.. I thought they did .
With words , impian bole jadi musnah .. semangat bole jadi hancur .. senyuman bole hilang ..

Semuanya dalam sekelip mata ..
So easily .. they took away my heart . Ripped it all into no pieces left .

Dear diary .. deep inside , im hurt .. im smiling right now .. typing diss .. acting like im messaging with someone I like .. and hes looking at me .. feel irritated .

Listening to their conversation . Im here with no idea . No confident . No sincerity . No honesty . No heart ..

I just smile n laugh when it needed . Hate dis life ..

Ask me why .. ??


Because actually .. we are pretenders and heart breakers .. :) 

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Assalamualaikum to all muslims and morning to all :) It has been a long time i've not written to this blog !! Today , in this beautiful morning of 5th Ramadhan 1434 Hijrah , i felt like to post something .


The last thing i posted was about SPM right ? 
Now , after almost 2 years .. want to know the result ?


4A+2A1A-1B


................

I know i should be thankful .. Yes . i am . Alhamdulillah .. i felt happy .. that time . when we all gathered at the very last secondary school ceremony ..
And in front of everybody .. i cried . 
my heart stunned when they announced my result as top 10 students 
i almost cried in front of the camera , the headmistress .., when recieving the slip and prizes 
after that , i walked to go to my sit back 
in seconds .. someone stopped me from behind . i turned back and she hugged me . 

She knew ....................... it .

my tears fell without i knew it 
and i cried as cried as i can... in her hug . 
That is my teacher . She always supported me from the very beginning . The one who have faith in me . The one who understood me in silent . The one who never givup on me . The one who believe in me . The one who knew...... 
At that time .. the reason why i cried .. 
I really hoped to get straight A's .. but there was a B . and i don't care if it was another subject . but the B was english . A very important subject for me to apply for law courses .
My ambition ..all this time .. :') 
So ..! , after that .. my life changed .. Sesungguhnya , Allah s.w.t sebaik-baik perancang .
Where i am right now .. ?
I am a pre-u student . form six . and i took STPM . 
I can't believe untill now .. i will go for stpm after spm . But Allah is Greater . I know , everything happened for reasons .. theres a reason why i must be here . 
i will finish pre-u at the end of the year .. and yet .. i havent found the reason .

But , :) here .. the wonderful things about pre-u school life :

1. I have a lot of close friends that i had never felt this close .
2. I laugh everyday for their jokes
3. We play everyday after study everyday 
4. We hangout A LOT ! 
5. Since 2012 (6 Rendah 3) untill 2013 (6 Atas 3) .. we classmates treat each other like our own family 
6. Celebrate birthdayS altogether
7. I love Nur Haszimah , Anis Shahirah , Aqilah Syuhada , Nawal , Hasnah , Miera Yasmin , Aliff , Amirul , Ikhwan and Zane . These people are my gangs ! They are beautiful :)
8. I felt more relax because i limited my responsibilities in school . 
9. I've learnt about loves .. friendships.. lifes.. and the most important is , 

10. Im struggling to be independent . Stand on my own feet . I rather feel tired of myself than making people tired of me . Thats why .... these 2 years , im a little at war of myself . 
If i mad , or i sick or i sad . I dont easily tell .......... .. 
A lot of people dont understand me . When they mad at me .. 
I rather shut my mouth and close the door . Being alone is better than get myself being hurt and hurting people . Throw bad words at me . Talk behind my back . Curse me . 

I don't care . I accept if i do make mistakes .Thats why i silent myself. but , at least i don't hurt people .

WELL ! Thats all for today ! :) Hati dan perasaan dah diluahkan sedikit sebanyak . Tak harap sape2 pun baca . Main terjahh jeee .. 

Now is sharp 8.00 

Assalamualaikum . Pray hard . Work hard .